the8thmonarch | (no subject)

Current Mood: depressed

(no subject)

... I... am unsure of this... because of how faulty my mind is...

But what is being "disowned" like. I... am afraid of it, to be honest. Was... I... really that dis-satisfactory? Or immature? But... I don't like it.

... I apologize if I seem stupid.

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Because I have been too childish.

... I don't think that's the case, here... I'll never understand these expectations that families seem to put onto their children...

... But to disown you over something that anyone would say that you're not ready for...

You are not rich. They disowned me because of my choices in people I am romantically interested in, my childishness, and my inability to commit to the family.

... I'd say something to that first part, but...

I think your family is being unreasonable. A family should not disown a child, just because she is unable to conceive one of her own. They also shouldn't expect a seventeen, or even eighteen year old, to have a child so soon.

I thought that the basis of many parts of this culture was that such actions are considered dishonorable to do, especially before you're even wed.

But I guess not all families will even uphold the basic logic of culture itself.

It was. To prove my worth and dedication.

Not. To my parents. They need to know I will commit. And bend over. To any husband who seeks me.

... ...

I guess I can't really argue at this time, anyway. I do hope, at least, something better ends up happening to you.

The same... Lord Shikou, is it?

... ... Yes, fine, you may call me that.

I'm glad, at least, that you have found someone to stay with.

Well... the tuition is... processed. So. I'll be finishing. But. I don't know what to do...

Though...

... Mn?

I think I know what to do with getting a job...

... That's good, at least.

Yes.

... Do you like me?

I think you're a nice girl, and that better things should happen, concerning you.

I think it's a shame that negative events find you.

... I wonder if this is... retribution for being... immature.

... Focusing too much on whether one is mature, or not, makes them miss anything else that goes past them, in their lives.

Apparently... I failed at paying attention?

... If you think you, yourself, failed at it, then maybe you should take this time to try to notice things a bit more.

... It's... a bit difficult to notice things.

I think it would help you more, if you tried it.

As I have said, it is... difficult.

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